dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dear god my vagina.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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