My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
