i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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