Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
