Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
