You're my little dorito
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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