Who wears a wallet chain?!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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