wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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