I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
