Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
