..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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