I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
