WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
