Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
