Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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