If i come over, it means nothing
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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