Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
