last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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