Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
