I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
