he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm too high and old for this...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
