He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he shaved USA in his pubs
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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