When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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