Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
