So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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