I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
