Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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