I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
