I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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