somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she woke up with a sticky ear
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
