he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
