You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
