I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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