Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
