I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
