Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Say something about gay babies.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
