my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
FUCK WHALES
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
