week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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