Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
