so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
