I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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