I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
