We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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