ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
