I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
