called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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