you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
