I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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