her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
