DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
