Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
