eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
