But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
