do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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